An Expert in the Field
by Dick Dastardly
Having read Legends of the Fucking Impossible, I am quite compelled by the author's honesty in admitting he is a huge dork. I too am a dork, for I still watch Legends of the Hidden Temple (now on Nickelodeon GAS). I loved the show and Olmec's Temple was, in fact, impossible for the physically challenged waifs they had on the program.
But, let's face it, Legends was not the best game show. I should know because I happen to watch an assload of them—in fact, I probably watch the Game Show Network more than most 80 year olds. Therefore, for the other faithful game show fanatics out there, I have chosen to compile a list of what I think are the top 10 game shows of all time. A lot of things go into consideration here (like beer, drugs, and lame daytime television counterprogramming) and although I haven’t seen every single game show, I’ve seen enough to make a damn good list. Anyways, here goes:
10. Card Sharks- A personal favorite, it simply has to make the list. While not known to many, the enthusiasm of the contestants and audience participation were unmatched. Check it the fuck out, people!
9. Global Guts- Do, do, do, do ya have it? The answer: A resounding YES. With Mike O'Malley as host, how can you go wrong? Although can somebody tell me how Mo (the British announcer/ref lady) even got that job in the first place? Regardless, when Guts! went global, it changed sports gaming forever (the evolution of the Aggrocrag to the Megacrag to the Super Aggrocrag...mmmm fantastic).
8. MTV’s Singled Out- Yeah, even MTV got into the gaming business. I admit it wasn’t too shabby either. With Chris Hardwick hosting and Jenny McCarthy being double-d…elightful, you can’t really go wrong. Hell, McCarthy bounced and the producers switched to Carmen Electra and the show managed to get even more awesome (i.e. whorish). All around entertaining.
7. Family Feud- It was long lasting, had great freeze-frame family intros, and I’ve even seen a version in Spanish! Can you say success?? Well, let's face it, this show could be higher, but it lost a lot after Richard Dawson moved on. Although the show gets bonus points for having one host, Ray Combs, commit suicide. High five!
6. Press Your Luck- The newer version was called Whammy. What else need be said but: No Whammy, No Whammy....STOP!
5. Who Wants to be a Millionaire?- This show killed on prime time! Regis had that sharp outfit and people couldn't get enough of the fastest finger questions (little secret: I tried to get on the show once…and failed).
4. Match Game- This show had all the makings of the greatest. Its short TV lifespan is the only thing keeping it from #1 or #2 on our countdown. Gene Rayburn was the man and you could tell by that John Holmes-esque microphone he held. And who didn't want to match the cornucopia of celebrities who graced that stage? Seriously, who didn’t love the fact that Brett was always drunk or that Charles always smoked that sweet pipe?!
3. Wheel of Fortune- So much money given away! And miracles do happen...Vanna White does not age!
2. Price is Right- Look, #1 and #2 are a toss up. Take your pick. I prefer one over the other, but it can go either way. The Price is Right is the classic. Day time television at its finest! PLINKO BABY!
1. Jeopardy!- With Ken Jennings winning so much money, this show really takes the cake. Informative and fun, Jeopardy! is easy to watch all the time and even better when they have Junior Jeopardy. That way I know all the answers and don’t feel like I have the Downs. However, I don’t know how much longer I can watch the show now that Alec Trebek shaved that svelte, suave, and sensual manstache.
