The Top Ten Inappropriate Film Lines
by Uber Jon
This is it! The top ten lists to end all top ten lists! A top ten list that is so damn important that it required a separate title: The Top Ten Best Movie Lines To Say in Inappropriate Places: And the Inappropriate Places You Should or Shouldn't Say Them. So go ahead and cancel all your dumb ass list shows VH1, because here is the only top ten list you will ever need!
10. At your wife's busy yard sale: We're gonna make some money, then you know what we're going to do? We're gonna go to that party, and we're gonna get some pussy, and I'm gonna fuck this bitch, and fuck this bitch, I'll fuck ANYTHING THAT MOVES! What the fuck you lookin at, I'll kick your fuckin' ass! Shit yeah. Doesn't that fucker owe me ten bucks? You know, fuckin' tonight, we're gonna rip off that fucker's head, and take out his fuckin' SOUL. Hey, what's up baby, what's up, sluts? - Clerks
This one may be a bit tough to memorize, but I guarantee you'll grab all kinds of attention from the haggling old wenches that frequent yard sales.
9. In any sort of real conflict: Go ahead, make my day. -Sudden Impact
This line is omega badass in the movie, but try using this in your everyday bar fight and you'll surely get laughed…then you'll most likely get your teeth kicked into your face.
8. To your suicidal self-conscious niece: You're one ugly mudda fugga.- Predator
Look at it this way: do you really want that little emo kid cutting herself because of something you said? Well maybe you do…and maybe you do.
7. During a prostate exam: I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship.- Casablanca
Your routine doctor visits will start becoming awkward!
6. On a busy sidewalk with your favorite lady-friend in a headlock: Outlander! Outlander! We have your woman! -Children of the Corn
If she is screaming and really in some pain it won't be long till there are some domestic violence charges heading your way. If she isn't screaming…well then, you've got yourself a keeper fellas.
5. While in the stall of a busy public restroom: I'm the king of the world!-Titanic
Dropping a deuce has never been more exhilarating!
4. During sex: …I love you, and that's why you have to let me eat your BRAINS!!! -Return of the Living Dead
Or if you really want to be inappropriate just start convulsing and making animal noises while hovering over that special someone. I like to call it "Tuesday".
3. In a crowded restaurant: They're making our food out of people! - Soylent Green
I'm sure most of you knew this one was coming. It truly is the classic movie line to say in an inappropriate place. R.I.P Charlton Heston. I, for one, will not be prying any guns out of your cold dead hands, sir.
2. While walking past a playground: Your mother sucks cocks in hell!- The Exorcist
Sure, you'll score some style points and ruin a life or two, but was it really worth it? Yes, yes it was.
We are finally here to our number ONE best movie line to say in an inappropriate place (and the inappropriate place you should or shouldn't say it). But before we get to it we have to hear a bit from our sponsors:
AXE: Wear our cheap-ass, cat piss smelling cologne and you will attract all kinds of skanks with big plastic breasts.
MCDONALDS: Purchase a Big Mac super value meal now and get a free lard shake with your purchase! McDonalds: where you will always leave with more chins than you came in with.
Now it is time for the number ONE:
1. When your wife tells you she's pregnant: Frankly,my dear, I don't give a damn.- Gone With the Wind
You may be able to get out of changing diapers and making bottles, but dodging child support is a lot harder than it sounds.
And that's the list, baby! I hoped you enjoyed it as much as I did. I'm sure after we've slept together, you'll probably just going to roll off me and say, "Way to give it that old college try." Well to that I say, "FUCK YOU, David Letterman! My list is better than all the lists your mongoloid, monkey writers have ever come up with!"
